Better Than A Poke In The Eye With A Stick

After months of being told that no, a blog is not chewed up movie candy spot- welded under a seat with Mountain Dew, but more of a dear diary thing to any and all cyber-friends and countrymen with keyboards and time to kill, I’m finally getting hip to this squishy, self-indulgent universe with the funny name. To be sure, I enter its atmosphere with lower expectations than when I pushed the turnstiles of say, Seaworld in 1977 (I was so hopeful, but even at twelve I felt horrible for those show time dolphins – Dance, Flipper, Dance. And note to marketing gurus past and present, only call something “a world” if it can’t be jogged around in fifteen minutes or less… by people under five feet tall.)

So far we know only that I once had a troubling day out at Sea world and it’s possible that I secured various food items to seat bottoms during slow films, i.e Star Wars, not the good, campy trilogy, but the life sapping, childhood memory crushing prequels. Still, none of that tells you what this regular blog commentary will be about exactly…

A celebration of life? (most definitely; mine, yours, the lady in the tye dye moo moo down the street standing out in any weather, who waves at me pedaling by, and either smokes fat brown cigarettes or might those be cigars? We’ll be celebrating her and just about everyone – except not really despicable lives – Hitler, for example, definitely not gonna shine any joyful light on him, and various other crappy historical figures and tyrants and certain vice presidents with twitchy trigger fingers and too much Haliburton stock – But everyone else, and specifically writer pals and people I wished I wrote like and some that I want to make folks more aware of, and inventors, and social entrepreneurs doing visionary work around the planet – those sorts of people) liberty? (I shall take them wherever and whenever you’ll let me) and the pursuit of happyness – first blog question that is not rhetorical, in Will Smith’s latest movie, was the misspelling of Happyness for a good reason, or were they just trying to be cute? My fourth grade teacher Mrs. MaCumber, her graduates and decedents would not be impressed. In fact, I can see that vein in her neck getting ready to blow right now.

This blog will also be part stay at home Poppa/author, performer guy observations, part fan and reader contact and exchange, informal newsletter, part humorous and/or attempted humorous ranting – depending on my caffeine and sleep intake, part advice on all things Adventure Dad, the TV show we’re shooting of the same name – books i’m trying to write before my publisher whips me and tells me to use the side door like the rest of the bastard stepchildren they won’t carry in the featured section of Barnes and noble, tour journals from cycling trips, writings, and any other damn thing that pops into my head. Which means things will be mildly inappropriate at times, but I’ll try to keep the really blue material for the audience inside my head… and those brave enough to stay for the late set at my stand up gigs.

That should do it for now. Except that I want to start a tradition of doing a quote of the day thingy: Sometimes these quotes will be original and sometimes they will be from infamous, famous or obscure figures. Today’s quote comes from a fellow in Iowa I met inside a gym basement earlier this month while pedaling in 20 below weather for a charity ride. I asked him what he thought of all these cyclists taking to the wind in such weather conditions:

“It’s better than a poke in the eye with a stick, I ‘spose…”

And that, my friends, is one way to get by in life without feeling the crush of disappointment in most situations, because let’s face it, how many days are worse than a poke in the eye with a stick?