Metal Cowboy Mayhem

You Might Be A Cyclist If….

Metal Cowboy — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 18:48:48 +0000

you’ve stood naked, patiently waiting by the dryer for bike clothes to get “less damp” enough in time for the group ride.

Jay Atkinson’s new book “Paradise Road” – what it feels like to retrace a giant’s path

Metal Cowboy — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 06:32:34 +0000

Meet Jay Atkinson. He’s written some books that, frankly, I’m miffed that I didn’t have the balls or talent to write. Check out this short video on his latest, then get the book, not b/c he’s a dear friend of mine or that he’d call my name out loud, even if it meant bringing trouble to his door, but buy it because, despite that character flaw, he’s one of the finest writer’s of my generation.

You Might Be Cyclist If… #2

Metal Cowboy — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 18:39:39 +0000

Only you know your afternoon commute is actually a second by second reenactment of Le Mond’s 1985 come from behind victory.

Quote A Week From My “You Might Be A Cyclist If…” Calendar

Metal Cowboy — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 02:42:20 +0000

You Might Be a Cyclist If… the miles have given you Arnold quads and angel hair pasta thin arms. That ten-year-old-boy called again, he wants his biceps back.

(From my forthcoming Jeff Foxworthy inspired “You Might Be A Cyclist…” quote-a-day calendar – I’ll put up one a week until the calendar comes out Christmas 2010. It will have daily artwork and cyclists birthdays on every day. Let me know what you think of the humor and if strikes a chord with you or falls flat…)

We Need To Close Our Eyes Sometimes

Metal Cowboy — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 04:42:10 +0000

Oingo Boingo. What an underrated band back in the day. Sure, it wasn’t Mozart, but it’s telling that Danny Elfman has compose most of Hollywood’s soundtracks over the past 20 years. From The Simpsons to A Simple Plan – he’s been a one man backbeat to my days. But why the shout out? Boingo’s vibe and music, this song in particular, was the backdrop to the stories in Metal Cowboy… and to my youth: a swirl of confusion, sweet and bittersweet, longing and losing my way… and finding a few dreams fulfilled in the miles between.

About The Lyrics: As a writer I wish I’d penned it. Works as a love song, as an ode to youth, making peace with the reaper without giving in to the inevitable. Seizing the moments and slowing down enough to make a few people matter.

We close our eyes
We close our eyes and dream and the world has turned around again

When everybody is running in the big race
And having a good time
Who am I to cast a shadow
Who am I?
I looked Death in the face last night
I saw him in a mirror
And he simply smiled
He told me not to worry
He told me just to take my time

Chorus:
We close our eyes and the world has turned around again
We close our eyes and dream and another year has come and gone
We close our eyes and the world has turned around again
We close our eyes and dream …

And if you come to me
And if you touch my hand
I might just slip away
I might just disappear
Who am I?
And if you think I’m worth it
And if you think it’s not too late
We might start falling
If we don’t try to hard
We might start falling in love

(Chorus)

We’re on the healing path
We’re on a roller coaster ride
That could never turn back
And if you love me
And if you really try
To make the seconds count
Then we can close our eyes

(chorus)

We close our eyes and the world has turned around again
_________________________________________________

I play this when I’ve lost my place, and when I’ve found the strength to carry on. Play it on my birthday. Play it on holidays. Someone play it at my funeral.

If all commercials were like this I could stomach TV

Metal Cowboy — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 04:35:04 +0000

old spice

Metal Cowboy on Channel 8 news yucking it up!

Metal Cowboy — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:36:17 +0000

http://www.kgw.com/thesquare/7-wheels-across-Canada-with-the-Metal-Cowboy-84425567.html

Metal Cowboy vs. Elephant: Puts Dog Chases In Perspective

Metal Cowboy — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 03:32:49 +0000

You Can’t Make Me Cry

Metal Cowboy — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:19:03 +0000

Sending out books at the post the other day, corraling Matteo with one hand and balancing a box of lego toys while trying to keep a bounce in my step despite the crushing line of people during a non-holiday rush time of year.Post offices are running on less and less staff, So be it – the worker who I landed in front of was well beyond her “working with the public” expiration date. We went back and forth a few times about stuff that needed to be blacked out on one envelope – see, I try to do my part by reusing as many good packages as possible – but this worker was itching for a fight – when she and I both realized that the customs label to Canada went right over the space that she’d just made me blot out with my own sharpie -I made eye contact – smiled, but strange as it is to believe – held my tongue. Then she started giving me a hard time about how one envelope had too much tape on it, another not enough – I almost got out the cardboard book of goldilocks and the three bears stashed in the chariot trailer just so I could read along with her commentary. Finally, I just had to ask,” Mam, why are you giving me such a hard time?”
She lit up like someone had handed her an extra ball to throw at the bottles along the midway. She lived for moments like these, you could tell. “Son, if I were giving you a hard time you’d be in tears and calling for your momma. Hard time? I could break you… like that!”
She stamped her stamp. I stepped back. Clearly someone had already broken her – or maybe the years, the disappointments – who knew – but her threat made me laugh, a hearty, sincere laugh.
“Lady, I’m the father of three boys, with a fourth son on the way. You couldn’t make me cry if you had all day.” The postal worker next to her broke out laughing, folks in line joined in. Matteo even started to chuckle, then offered the woman a lego man as an olive branch.She was not amused. I dd not cry. I only hope those books make it to their destinations.

New Year, New Rules, New Blogs on a regular basis!

Metal Cowboy — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 07:27:54 +0000

Starting .. well, starting now I guess. I have new books, out and coming out, a bunch of stuff going down, shows, calendars, world tours or at least national tours, or part of the nation, OK, beyond my zipcode – and lots of other stuff – including a fourth son on the way in March. We’re calling him Sawyer – yes, after Mark Twain’s character, though Beth will tell you it’s after her favorite character on lost.. About the large number of kids running around here or soon to be, I know… if we have any more I’ll be asked to move the whle operation to Utah.

So maybe I start blogging a bit more in 2010. No promises but I’m gonna try to keep it hot, fresh, moving and regular – now I sound like a commercial for fiber medicine. At any rate, stay tunedwhile I bang on these keys with more frequency and see if I can’t connect with more of you guys this year. Let you know what’s happening beyond the facebook nonsense – my mood is fierce and I had oats for breakfast.

For instance, we’re gonna pedal in Portland’s first annual Tweed ride Saturday 11am leaving from the downtown fountains. Me and all the boys and acres of cordoroy and Cosby sweaters. That’s where I’ll be next if anyone wants to know or join – in tweed, but sans pants? I thought I’d get a jump on naked bike ride day – half naked tweed day – OK, maybe not – I was naked on a bike in Africa recently – there’s video out there somewhere. So maybe that’s enough nakedness in saddle for one calendar year. Til my next post, stay safe and stray well.