Metal Cowboy Mayhem

One Million Bicycles
A National Cycling Rights Movement

08/09/2009 A National Day Of Action and Celebration

The Revolution Will Not Be Motorized!

On a single day, over one million riders will roll out and gather across America for unified rallies in every major city and at the nation’s capital:

Why?

*To Support Senator Earl Blumenauer’s National Bike Bill
http://bikeportland.org/2008/02/29/blumenauer-introduces-the-national-bike-bill/

*To Call For A Doubling Of Current Funding For Bicycling In The Federal Transportation Bill and in every State Transportation Appropriation.

*To Put The National Media Spotlight On Cycling As A Viable, Clean Form Of Transportation, Key To National Security, Reducing Obesity, Global Warming, Pollution, Congestion And Need For Foreign Oil.

*To Give Away One Million New And Used Bicycles - Creating One Million New And Returning Riders.

*To Celebrate The Joy and Benefits Of Riding Bikes
(The Biggest One Day, 50 State Pedalpalooza Ever)

PART 1 08/09/09 Rides And Rallies

Riders and supporters register ($5) for the event at onemillionbicycles.org or at their participating local bike shop, bike club, university etc. They receive an online registration packet, number, specific ride and rally location/details, a bike giveaway card, pledge sheet etc.

Ride leaders and rally coordinators are being recruited/enlisted in cities across America. National kindred organizations within the cycling world/industry and beyond (environmental, social, sustainable business etc.) will help get the word out, recruit, link, table, advertise, banner.

On 08/09/09 each participating city and Washington DC will hold rides to the rallies. (Participation in these formal rides is not required or feasible for all, based on the numbers we’re attracting. We envision a core ride in every city and other riders pouring in from their homes in informal groups, pairs, theme teams, etc.)

There will be a coast to coast and specific long distance group rides pedaling to the DC Rally. There will be a designated online registration for these.

Riders in each city will meet up at a specific time and location for an organized Rally. Each Rally will be branded/go by the same name and will include spender food, booths, press conference, speakers, music, activities, presentation of onemillionbicycles support for National Bike Bill, and the coveted create a new rider million bikes giveaway.

The $5 registration fee:

75 cents of every dollar pays for the repair, tune up of used bikes and purchase of new bikes for the giveaway.

15 cents of every dollar to promotion and ride/rally support.

10 cents per dollar on the first $500,000 to admin. 8 cents on the next $500,000 capped @ 5 cents or less thereafter.

PART 2 Giving Away One Million Bicycles

What better way to support the merits, joys and future of cycling as a viable transportation in America than to participate in getting, than giving away one million used, rehabbed and new bikes?

It’s estimated that 25 million bicycles sit in garages and basements, unridden year after year. We’ve gone from hunters and gatherers to hoarders and storers. Regular riders often have upwards of a half dozen retired frames or full bikes gathering dust.

Where do these bikes come from?

Each rider and supporter who registers for the onemillionbicycles rides/rallies pledges to secure at least one used or new bike by 08/09/09 and/or recruit one non rider or returning rider. These bikes will be brought to participating bike shops, community cycling centers before the rallies for distribution. A few of these giveaways/stories will be “spotlighted” during the rallies on stage and for the media in each city. the rest will be visually marked by colorful cards that each rider will hold up during the rallies at the same time - showing just how many bikes can be put into use when a community steps up.
*Registered riders can donate one or more of their own frames, bikes. (competitions - prizes and awards for most bikes donated, secured.)

*Solicit family, friends, coworkers, neighbors for their garage stored bikes not being used.

*Recruit family, friends, coworkers to let onemilliobicycles rehab their old bikes if they ride it to the event and join the ride pledge program

*Additionally, onemillionbicycles.org is recruiting giveaway teams, coordinators, rolling out phone and in personal campaigns to acquire bike donations.

*onemillionbicycles.org is recruiting bike manufacterers to partner with the giveaway - purchase new bikes in discounted bulk, matching programs.

How will onemillionbicycles.org determine who gets a free bike?

Anyone who does not already have a bike is eligible by completing a giveaway application and committing to the giveaway requirements: which includes pledging to ride the bike X amount per week (to be determined) to work, school, errands, and documenting this by sharing their experiences via a onemillionbicycles blog, newsletter, press releases, letters, photos, stories, etc.

onemillionbicycles.org will use 75 percent of the $5 ride/rally registration fee to repair, rehab and safety tune up used bikes and buy new bikes before the giveaway.

onemillionbicycles.org is not being structured to become a lasting institution. Think of this in the same terms as a political campaign with a start and end date. We plan to operate from March 1 2008 - December 31, 2009. 

There are a host of fantastic bicycling organizations  and we don’t want to become a group that exists to support ourselves over the long term. We want to give voice to specific needs, host specific events during a given timeframe and  work with existing groups and programs to get and distribute one million bicycles.  After Jan 1 2010. We will continue to operate  the blog to keep new riders stories and trials and triumphs alive, turning over any operating needs to a worthy kindred organization. To do this a group called shift2bikes  offers an umbrella  non-profit status  for specifc projects. This will be one of those projects. As for the political component and violations of  non-profit status depending on how much policial action  an organization does, we will follow all funbding  rules for what can be tax deductable etc. based on time and funds going for educational, bike giveaways vs political endeavors.

Q&A

Who Is This Ride/Rally For?

Everyone and Anyone who rides or has every ridden a bike in any form ( Roadies, MT Bikers,commuters, messengers, fixies, weekend riders, racers, adventure cyclists, tall bikes, zoobombers, tandems, bents, cyclocrossers, trikes, kids bikes etc.) or who supports the National Bike Bill and the ideals and actions of onemillionbicycles.org. We want to get a broad base involved. Family, businesses, schools, governments, civic groups, youth, retirees.

Revolution? Are We Overthrowing Something by Force?
Think personal, community and social revolution through example and large scale, positive action. We want to change the landscape, both politically and physically - so that it’s safer for everyone to use bicycles. We are doing that by showing our numbers, making specific measurable requests and by actually putting additional bikes under non riders and riders who haven’t pedaled in awhile.

Is This Anti-Car?
onemillionbicycles.org is probicycle. We would like everyone to drive cars less, yes, but we are not a militant group, We’re you. That person who knows we can make a cleaner, healthier society by driving less and shifting our transportation choices to bikes some of the time. That person who knows it will help reduce the overall carbon imprint America places on the world for many reasons - foremost because our energy consumption and transportation choices is effecting our quality of life, threatening our national security, hurting our health our environment. Increasing funding for the national cycling infrastructure will save lives and improve conditions for vulnerable users of the road.

How Can I Help?

Register for the ride, recruit others, spread the word through forums, clubs, blogs, get your local bike alliance involved, find bike(s) for the giveaway, become a rally coordinator in your city, rally team volunteer, become a giveaway project coordinator, a givaway phone volunteer, direct  bike donation team volunteer. Contact  Joe Kurmaskie mtcowboy@teleport.com www.metalcowboy.com

How Can I get a Bike?

Anyone who does not already have a bike is eligible by completing a giveaway application and committing to the giveaway requirements: which includes pledging to ride  the bike X amount  per week (to be determined) to work, school, errands, and documenting  this by sharing their experiences via a onemillionbicycles blog, newsletter, press releases, letters, photos, stories, etc.

Who Is Organizing This?

Onemillionbikes.org  is a direct response to Senator Earl B’s Bike Gallery event calling for the public to foster a national bicycle movement. The project is the brainchild of Joe Metal Cowboy Kurmaskie, best-selling author, nationally syndicated columnist, journalist for Bicycling Magazine, Men’s Journal, Outside, Parenting, headlining performer, cycling safety  advocate and activist. the roots of this idea came out of The November 2007 rally held in Portland Oregon after a rash of cycling deaths. That rally helped change the way the police investigate car/cycling accidents and helped shape the tone and conversations in the cycling vs driving debates.

Because Kurmaskie has managed nonprofits ( national renowned arts council, science education programs, and summer camps) he has the administrative background . His live performances in school, libraries, headlining expos and performing for 600 plus bicycling related organizations in the past 7 years, gives him the connection and platform to unify these groups and pull off a large scale project like onemillionbicycles.org

We’re planning a Sheldon Brown Memorial ride ourt here in Portland - all sorts of fun mayhem on a Tuesday afternoon. SB was a true original and we want to see if we can get rides going all over the country to honor is contributions and his love of a good April Fool’s Joke.

How can you go wrong with a music video that includes bicycles, Donnie Darko type masks, did I mention bicycles, a pretty girl, night riding and the whole ET vibe all rolled into a three minute song - BTW, the song uses a drum beat opening that is pulled right from the song Leader Of The Pack. Nice work. Happy Halloween!

Now that it’s come to a close, I want to put a bit of soundtrack to our summer across Canada. These were songs we sang, I butchered, or we hummed when it got too hard to sing, others were tunes rattling around in my head during all those miles of pulling the burden of my generation across northern provinces, still other songs popped up on radios at reststops. A few were even played live in campgrounds along the way.

Maybe you’ve heard some of these tunes before, or perhaps I’m turning you on to a few new artists. Either way, enjoy! Canada’s adventure on wheels topped our last roll out the gate across America with the boys, and that’s saying something. Soak in the sounds of this time we had together as a family… untethered from everything but each other and the open road.

The Kooks: She Moves In Her Own Way

Jack Johnson’s Breakdown:

Ben Harper: Burn One Down

Fatboy Slim: That Old Pair Of Jeans (check out the juggling)

Wilco: Jesus Etc.

Spoon: The Underdog

Saskatoon - called The Paris of The Prairies by our close friends who live there - was the terminus of our trip in Western Canada - We had a plane to catch if we wanted to honor commitments in Nova Scotia - namely the shows I was scheduled to perform in Annapolis Royal, at historic Kings Theater, and at The Lobster Galley at St. Annes in Cape Breton. But before we boarded a plane we had some catching up to do with our favorite Cunucks - Jim and Anne Seimens - along with their salt of the earth and feisty parents Audry and Peter (thanks again for all the hospitality, gardening, geocaching, the scrabble battle, and wonderful meals).

We got to enjoy Saskatoon on what was arguably their last day of summer. Crisp blue skies and 75 degrees greeted us and the threat of snow flurries ushered us to the airport. In between, Quinn reunited with Teilo, his good friend since he was six months old and we recuperated from all those miles along the Yellowhead. Beth came down with a wicked head cold but she is like the energizer bunny - the hardest day of our adventure turned out too be the red eye flight to Halifax. I’m not the smartest bear in the woods, thus I forgot about the time change - an eight hour flight turned into a 4 hour trip arriving at 3am our time - followed by a two hour plus car ride to a magical little burg called Annapolis royal on the south side of Nova Scotia - Beth let me sleep so I could be human for the show that evening - and we even managed to squeeze in some sightseeing before the sun went down - it’s amazing to be on one side of the continent and then another in such a short span of time - this truly has been the family trip of a lifetime.

The pedal from Jasper to Edmonton is worthy of a book all on its own - highlights include a massive black bear lumbering through Pocahontas Lodge playground while we played, cresting the highest point on the Yellowhead Hwy, only to face a series of hills that must have been the second, third and fourth highest spots on said hwy, grasshopper races outside of Edson, Beth sporting a bikers tan and a Tour de France attitude, one day that included temperature ranges of 40 degrees, rain-jackets, fleece and a final push to a clean room in a dump of a truck stop - where we decided while in Rome and went for broke by eating in the adjacent trucker’s restaurant. My eyes were drawn to the menu item in bold lettering, the Trucker’s Burger of course - this heifer comes with a prize - if you finish off this monument to cardiac disease, the management will give you a semi truck mud flap with a naked lady on it. You know I ordered it, you also must know that I finished every bite of the multiple patties, ham, egg, bacon, cheese, mushroom platter, with a boatload of mash and brown gravy that acted as its pillow. Not only that but I dusted off the other half of Quinn’s burger, some of Matteo’s free kiddie potatoes, a side of mixed vegetables and some apple pie ala mode for desert.

I turned down the prize on account of this being a family ride… but more so because try as I might I could not work out a place to attach it, even on a bike as long as ours.

Coming into Edmonton at the end of a 70 mile day we thought we had everything wrapped up. We were flashing cocky smiles as we rolled past the rush hour gridlock along Andover Henboy Dr - but with less than 8 kilometers to go to reach a friends house - great people we met earlier in the month on Vancouver Island - the skies opened up and dumped - what began as rain, morphed into a pound hailstorm straight out of the old testament - at first we laughed it off but ten minutes into the pounding the boys were done - Enzo was whimpering, and I can take hours of physical abuse at the hands of my bike, but the sound of children in pain cuts me in half. The problem was this, there was absolutely nothing to seek shelter under in or around - just highway and hail. Through the deluge I spot a church steeple in what looked like a subdivision under construction. As we rolled up to what should have been a turn the road did not reach the hwy. The concrete ended twenty yards short. A muddy dip stood between us and the quick sprint on pavement to the church. I got the boys off the bike and told them to run for the church overhang. I held my bike contraption as best I could as I entered the short muddy ravine - it was similar to wrestling a steer to the ground - if I’d ever done that I imagine that’s what it feels like - this was not the hard part - getting hundreds of pounds of bike and gear up a muddy hill in a hailstorm in clip in sandals turned out to be a bit of a challenge. At one point I was spinning my legs so fast I looked like a cartoon character - finally I used those scandals as a poor man’s cramp on - jamming them into the soft mud as I laughed out loud - I mean what else can one do in that situation? while hollering to no one but the elements “I was considering taking up cyclocross this season but not right now!”

After summiting I realized that I had to let Beth know we were turning off, abandoning ship, what have you - this required me to go down and up the ravine again - easier this time without the bike, wave my hands aircraft carrier guider style, hope she saw me then break into a sprint for the boys, church and relative safety.

Beth somehow found us hiding under the church entrance - the building was still under construction - doors locked. We were freezing at this point - I got people out of wet clothes, into sleeping bags at 4pm, then took Beth’s bike back out on the road behind the church - the hail had stopped but lightening was still in the area - after some false starts I managed to find a Husky gas station, call our friends and execute a rescue - a few hours later we were eating ribs in the warmth of Corine and Kevin’s home, laughing, hearing stories about being given Mother Teresa’s direct phone number and how to survive a day at the world’s largest mall.

More stories about Edmonton (and its hospitality) and the road to Saskatoon but a real bed has my name on it right now - Life on the road is always unpredictable, fleeting and so incredible - I stood looking at my body last night, how it has been transformed in subtle and obvious ways by just 5 weeks of pulling 400 pounds of flesh and metal across Canada - when Beth laughed and rolled her eyes I had to clarify - “Honey this isn’t narcissism, though I perfectly capable of that from time to time - It’s simply this: I’m going to miss this body when it’s gone - and it will be gone - no one can keep up at this pace forever, and you only get to be in peak condition for a short while - but it has and is serving me without complaint or catastrophic failure and for that I am grateful. In a larger sense, I’m going to miss everything, my body, sunrises, my family, these moments together, when it’s all gone someday… but what a kick to have lived it here and now.

I can’t tell you how it ends yet, this particular adventure I mean, or how it all ends for me some day, but I know with certainty how it won’t end… with regrets on a couch at the far end of a television’s dim glow. Stray well.