School Programs

Bring The Metal Cowboy To Your School


Public School Assemblies/K-12 performances, kid friendly library and private school programs.

What do you get when you place one Adventure Dad on 18 feet of bicycle train with his four young sons as they pedal over 12 mountain passes, across 17 states and cover more than 4,000 miles of riding together? A Huck Finn summer, a modern day epic of perspiration and inspiration and a rally cry to all the youth of America to start exploring their world safely but through something other than a video game or TV screen.

Seconds into this multimedia assembly Joe will have your students captivated with; digital images of this family adventure, a working demonstration of the  bike train which they pedaled, and through gripping and funny, age appropriate stories from their adventures.

Student Participation:
Students will be encouraged to participate in the assembly – Joe peppers the show with cross curriculum questions ranging from culture, geography, science, geology, history, and more, rewarding students with prizes for correct answers. He will bring students up to demonstrate equipment and play the roles of his sons and other characters as he explains bike safety, the proper way to view animals in the wild and through other equally interesting hands-on demonstrations.

Students will learn how many times around the globe Joe has pedaled in equivalent miles, what the tallest passes in the USA are, how to find the sweetest watermelons of summer, scientifically, and much more.

In addition to the bicycle set up, Joe’s props include items such as plastic light sabers, panniers and pool toys, and he will divulge secret weapons for battling boredom on any road trip.

Students will learn:
• What to do if a gaggle of geese tries to tree you
• Where Elvis Presley impersonators like to go on bike rides
• How to turn a flat tire into the slime scene from the film Ghostbusters
• How to safely camp in Bison and bear country
• How to fix you nose so you won’t smell a dead skunk on the side of the road
• What elementary school boys like to take digital photos of
• How to get the best view of the Old Faithful Geyser
• What not to do when a herd of wild horses keeps pace along a back country Montana road
• And much much more!

With 20 years of camp directing experience, work during college running after-school programs and being a father of three sons, Joe knows how to connect with kids of all ages, instantly, and how to use seemingly wild stories and tales to impart positive life lessons while encouraging kids to embrace learning, creativity and problem solving.

Joe’s dynamic personality and his award winning tales of adventure, parenting and contact with humanity have captivated audiences of all ages and backgrounds across America for over 10 years. And Joe does not believe that one size show fits all – he melds his performances to the age group he is working with, seamlessly working pop culture references and age appropriate versions of the material based on the level of audience.

Reviews of The Metal Cowboy’s Live performances

“As good as it gets in the author presentation business.”
Judith Chandler, Third Place Books, Seattle

”A spectacular program – it was certainly our most successful event,
attendance and patron feedback wise of all time. Everyone can’t say
enough about how entertaining you were. The Supervising Librarian, usually pretty quiet, was recounting some of your stories (the uphill against the wind tale when you found out your son hadn’t been pedaling for two days!) Next year we’ll need a bigger room.”
Diane Moody, City of Albany Librarian.

“We need to have the cowboy saddle up and speak on our main stage every year.”
Cheryl Nagoni, Organizer, Cycle Oregon (weeklong cross state ride/tour)
“The most entertaining & inspiring live theatrical show in ages. The
Metal Cowboy makes our bestseller list on the strength of his performance alone.”
Powell’s Books

“Brought the room to its feet.”
Books Etc. – Portland, Maine

“Hands down the best performance of the year. Lively, thoughtful.
People laughed to the point of tears. I’d like to have the cowboy back as soon as possible.”
Tom Gerald – University of Oregon events

“The audience at the Lake Oswego Library spent a hilarious evening
listening to Joe Kurmaskie the adventures of traveling across country
towing his two sons. We were lucky to be one of the first groups to
enjoy these new stories, slides and antics. While most of the stories are humorous, some are down right crazy and yet others are touching. If Joe gets tired of writing, he definitely has a career as a stand up comic.”
Margaret Zepp, Head Librarian

“Inspired and funny is something we rarely have come together in one presenter.”
Jefferson High School

“The Cowboy rides high above your typical pack of performers.”
Dave Shaw – Seattle Bike Expo director
Joe’s Bio:
Joe Kurmaskie is an award winning journalist, adventurer and the author of  seven bestsellers includingMetal Cowboy, Riding Outside the Lines, Mud, Sweat and Gears and Momentum Is Your Friend. He is a regular columnist for Bicycling, where his “Ask the Metal Cowboy?” column appears.

Kurmaskie has written for Backpacker, Details, Outside, Portland Monthly, Parenting Magazine, Men’s Journal, the Arizona Daily Star, Oregon Cycling, Midwest Bike and other publications, and he frequently reviews books for The Oregonian. He has taught writing in the schools through Community of Writers, and he founded Camp Creative, a summer arts program for children and young adults in New Mexico and Oregon.

Kurmaskie has performed his one-man show, “Metal Cowboy Mayhem and Misadventure,” on over five hundred stages across the country.
Programs include:
First person inspiration
Amazing slide images
Safety tips
Giveaways, raffles
Question and Answer – about travel, cycling, relationships, how to
balance a life of adventure with family.
Book signing
Joe’s local school assembly rates are:
$250 for one assembly
$375 for two assemblies (at same school)
$475 for three assemblies (one half day at same school)

$1,000 for a full day of assemblies ( up to 4 assemblies) and one writing workshop (at same school)

Prices do not include travel expenses, but multiple bookings with local schools and public performances bring expenses down and keep them very manageable. Many schools work with title 1 funds, safety education funds, PTA and speaker/assembly funding and will sometimes turn to local bicycle clubs and business entities to underwrite this once in a lifetime experience for their students.

Joe requires very little – an infocus style or other digital slide projector (any digital projector brand will do) to show the slides, a microphone and amplification when necessary and a space to perform in, Joe will bring the rest.

Pre-Show Preperation:
It always helps if students know that a well known writer/author of adventure stories and travels will be visiting and that he does all of these adventures on a bicycle.

For more info. booking 971-544-7752